Just when my ship had sailed, I found a life raft

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“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. “ ~Herm Albright
 
I’m not special.
 
I’m just a happily married, mother of three wonderful people that for years, let herself go.
 
Just flat out surrendered. I got out my big white flag and waved it for the world to see and declared the following:
Accept me. I’m done trying. Let’s eat.”
 
I gave in to over indulgence in just about anything that sat in front of me; Whether it was in a glass, on a plate, even on a stick. If you could eat, drink or chew it, it was mine. I figured I was over 40, time to let my hair down (what was left of it) and just sit back and vegetate.
 
After all, I was happily married for over twenty years. I had a great husband, great kids and a wonderful life. I’d beat the dreaded “C” word, survived a hysterectomy and a handful of other surgeries and I was due a full recline and a “ten toes up” salute now that I felt my roughest years were over wasn’t I?
But that really did me an injustice.
 
It was flat out wrong to treat myself that way. It also wasn’t nice to just throw my hands up and cast caution to the wind when preparing meals for my family either. Three of them are just starting out on their life’s journey and they need a good solid, nutritional foundation to begin their walk down the yellow brick road. I put so much time into their nutrition when they were babies and as they got older I began to create dishes that were way too rich for daily consumption. Sure, they were delicious, but did it have to be holiday fare 5 days a week?
 
I really wasn’t preparing their young bodies very well if I was including things that were not nutritionally sound. So my momentary detour into laziness and decadence had to come to an end.
I’m so glad I woke up. 
I have come to the conclusion that 48 years old is young!  But any age is too young to sit down and give up.
 
I am never going to be skinny.
 
I realize my “airbrushed-fantasy-of-me-in- a-size-6-with-no-stretch-marks” ship has sailed. Not only has it sailed, it’s arrived at it’s destination, dropped anchor and has officially been dry-docked for years.
But I don’t want to be skinny.
I just want to be healthy and live an active life. And guess what? I’m doing it. 
 
My goal is to be under 200 pounds. Even 199.9 pounds staring back at me from my Sunbeam scale dial will suffice.
I’m about halfway there and I’m fully happy about it.
 
I celebrated my halfway mark today by signing up for my first 5K race. Sure, I will walk most of it but there will be times where I will run.
 
I will run.
 
I will run, bounce, walk and jiggle my zaftig body to the finish line.
 
And when I’m done I will probably be sore and tired and in all likelihood I will finish last. 
 
But sore, tired and dead-last beats waving a white flag from the sidelines…anyday.
 
Life is too short to surrender and change is not impossible.
 
It doesn’t  matter how old you are or how busy you are, what you weigh or how much money you make or how much time you have. Change happens in the brain first and the body follows.
 
I had to really rethink my way of life.
 
Rethink why I ate when I was happy, sad or inbetween.
 
Why food made me feel complete and incomplete at the same time. Why it was my friend and my enemy.
 
I needed to learn how to make good food my friend for life.
 
So it took some time in my class at the gym to really peel back the layers and figure out how to feed my body and my mind at the same time. I think I’m nearly there and this is a great start.
 
  

"On my way"

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About margie rigney

I'm a woman with too much to say to keep it to myself. Stop by for a virtual coffee break with me and refill your cup. Life is too short to worry too much and take it too seriously. Sometimes you just gotta laugh, even when it hurts.

2 responses

  1. Wow, How inspiring. Reading some of the most beautiful words describe an awakening of the human spirit. Never give up, reach, grow, change and live. Your love for your family is evident, your love for a higher quality of life inspiring. Thank you